Letters to My Love
by Chibi-ChanxXxthe real one
Summary: Haruhi sends a letter to Hikaru after years of not talking to him. Hikaru feels he needs closure after the reading and goes on a journey...
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not be doing the owning of the Ouran High School Host Club. Bisco Hatori's property it is and there is nothing I can be doing about it. **

_Dear Hikaru_

_I know what you're probably thinking right now. It's something along the lines of "I haven't heard from Haruhi in years. I wonder why she's writing." Well you have every right to be surprised. I haven't kept in touch and I have no excuse for it. But, you have to admit; you could have called or written as well. So, if we are both in agreement that it is equally both our faults for not keeping in touch, I would like to get to the point. _

_I'm writing purely because I want you to know. I need to tell someone. I feel I owe it to you, and to myself, to tell you. It's because you used to care, I suppose. I think I'm tricking myself into thinking that if you cared then, you can care now. And I need to tell you, because there is no one else to tell. _

_My life has been a constant tour of loneliness. I have spent my entire life working my way up; trying to be the best back in school and trying to be the best in my job. And though I have succeeded I have lost the things I used to want most in life. I always wanted a family; a husband, some kids, a nice house with a pool. I wanted to have the generic "happy life". But now it is too late. Because when you wait too long, the opportunities always end up passing you by before you can realize they have. _

_I know what you're thinking; "But, Haruhi, you're only twenty-six. You still have time to find a guy and have a family." Wrong. That's why I'm writing this. I've run out of time. That's right; the hourglass is almost run out. I didn't believe it when they told me either, but it's true. I've got brain cancer, and there's nothing the doctors can do. _

_So, I guess you can say this is goodbye. I've known about the cancer for a while now, but I just couldn't bring myself to writing this letter. It's only a matter of days. In fact, by the time you get this, I'll probably already be gone. Kinda eerie, isn't it? Well, I just wanted to let you know that, I'll miss you wherever I end up. _

_Farwell,_

_Haruhi_

Hikaru read the letter for the third time. He couldn't believe it. She was really gone. He would never see her again. He should have kept in contact. If he had, maybe things would have been different; maybe she wouldn't be gone.

He missed her. They had been away from each other for such a long time, but there had always been the possibility of seeing her again. Now, it would never happen. He wondered if she had written similar letters to his brother, and the rest of the host club. Probably. All of them had helped her to break out of her shell, and become the more outgoing Haruhi that they know and love. Knew and loved. He needed to remember; past tense.

He put down the letter and crossed the room. He opened the fridge, and pulled out the orange juice. He drank the kind with pulp. It was one of the few things that differentiated himself and Kaoru, Kaoru like orange juice without the pulp, while he liked it with. He pulled a cup out of the cupboard. He poured the juice.

_Haruhi will never do this again. _A little voice in the back of his head said. Suddenly, his stomach dropped and he felt a swooping sadness throughout him. She would never move again. She would never be a part of anything. He would never see here again.

He was suddenly less thirsty then he had been a few minutes before. He put the container back in the fridge and left the glass on the counter. He crossed the room to the table and picked up the letter. It was postmarked for the 21st. That was three days ago. She said it was only a matter of days. Was she dead yet? If she wasn't he wanted to see her. Just one last time, before she left forever. He had to know.

OoOoO

**I hope you found it at least remotely enjoyable. It just came to me. I haven't written anything (cept school papers, so they don't count) in close to five months, so I may be a little rusty. Please comment, I need feedback to work!**


	2. Chapter 2

"_I'm gonna miss you after graduation, once we're in college." _

"_Why do you say that?" Hikaru asked her, as they were walking down the halls after school one day, just before host club began._

"_Because I will," she said with a smile. "What, don't you think you'll miss me?" _

"_Well, I haven't really thought about it actually," Hikaru said._

"_Come on, you really haven't thought about life after Ouran? You must have, at least a little when you were filling out your college applications."_

"_Well, maybe a little then. But it's not like we'll never see each other again."_

"_I know. It's just…"_

"_Just what," Hikaru asked, trying to keep the mood light, even though he had considered it, and he knew exactly how she felt._

"_Well, you're going to that design school, and I'm going to America for law school…. I guess I'm just saying it'll be a really long time at least, until we see each other again."_

"_I guess you're right. But don't worry, I'll call and email."_

"_I think it would be more fun if we write letters. It's more fun to get a letter in the mail."_

"_That's true. You never get those anymore. We could be like pen pals." _

"_Exactly." Haruhi laughed a little. He always acted so naïve. "Have you given any thought to after college?"_

"_What exactly do you mean?"_

"_Well," she kicked at the ground. They had now come to a halt in the middle of the empty hallway. "What I mean is do you like, want a family, and any ideas about careers?"_

"_I guess a family would be nice," he said giving a stretch, "And I don't suppose it would be so bad to take over _Hitachiin Fashion_. But for right now," he grabbed her hand, "I'm happy with what I have."_

"_Oh really?" she asked teasingly._

"_Really," he retorted. _

"_And what exactly is it that you have?"_

"_Well," he began, "for starters, I have a beautiful girl standing next to me, who, hopefully," he got down on one knee, "will consider marrying me after she graduates from college. And I don't think I'll need anything else in life if she says yes." _

_Haruhi stood for a moment in shook with her hands over her mouth. He had actually done it. She regained as much composure as is possible when someone asks you to marry them. _

"_Hmmm… let me thing about it… uhh… YES!" She yelled jumping up and into his arms._

"_I'm glad you said yes," He told her, "because I didn't have anything planned to say if you said no."_

"_What do you have planned to say now?"_

"_Nothing." He whispered and pressed his lips on hers. _

Hikaru jolted awake. He hadn't had that dream in years. He tried not to remember that day, because once that happy memory was sparked, a thousand bad ones came after it. He looked around. He couldn't believe he was actually sitting on the plane going to find Haruhi. From what he heard, she was still alive, but just barely. It was faster to take a plane then it was to drive. Unfortunately his private jet was being used by his brother at the moment.

He and Haruhi had been on one plane together. It had been just after graduation, over the summer between the beginning of college and the end of high school. He decided to take her on a tropical vacation. She had finally agreed to it after realizing that their chances of seeing each other over the next four years were slim. So they went to a remote island. The Hitachiins owned it, but he didn't tell her that. They went snorkeling and he took her on a sailboat. They had so much fun.

_And you'll never have that much fun again._ He tried to shake the voice that was telling him this. But in the back of his mind it said, _and she'll never have any fun again._

Why did she have to get sick? Why couldn't he have been there for her more? Why couldn't he have helped? Maybe, if he was lucky there would still be time. She would still be alive, and he would pay for them to do some surgery on her. She would get miraculously better.

_Are you high? You're a dumbass if you think that. _Who was he kidding? He couldn't even make himself believe it. The woman next to him seemed to notice the dejected look on his face.

"Are you on business?" She asked, giving him a bright smile. It was a nice smile; it looked sincere. She was remotely pretty; long black hair, precisely cut bangs, an oval shaped face, beautiful almond eyes. It was someone he would use as a model. She probably didn't recognize him. She just wanted to see if he was single.

"No, I'm visiting someone," he replied. He was going to leave it at that, but he could tell she wouldn't. She would probably ask who he was visiting.

"If you don't mind me asking, who? Family?"

"No, actually, a close friend of mine is dying."

"Who was he to you? A college buddy?"

"_She_ is an old friend from high school. We used to be engaged."

"Oh." Her face dropped.

They sat in silence.

"What was her name?" she asked.

"Haruhi. She's not dead yet though," he added quickly.

"Oh," she said, nodding solemnly, like she knew exactly what he meant. "Is she ill?"

"She has brain cancer," Hikaru said. He hadn't said it out loud before that. Hearing it made it sound more official, and deadlier.

"I'm sorry," she said. She looked him over once. "You still attached to her…"

"Yes," he said with a smirk. He couldn't deny it.

"What did you like about her most?"

"Well, she's prettier than any girl I've ever met, and different in a way to. She always acts so indifferent to everything even though she actually cares. And the fact that she's always so serious about everything makes her adorable. And she's always known that I am me and my brother is my brother. She makes everything better." He didn't realize how fast it had all come out until he was finished saying.

The girl laughed. "You sound like a high schooler in love. That's adorable."

He flashed her his Hitachiin smile. "Thanks." He hadn't smiled that smile in a long time.

The seatbelt light went on and the pilot made the announcements that they would be landing in around five minutes.

"Look," he said, "I can tell you're into me, but obviously I'm a bit preoccupied. I do have a single identical twin brother though. That is if you're interested."

"I guess I could give him a call. What's his name?"

"It's Kaoru. Even if things don't work out romantically between you two, you're quite pretty so he might use you as a model instead."

"Model… well what's his number?"

Hikaru wrote it down and handed it to her just as they were landing.

"Thanks for listening to my problems," he said, and flashed her another smile.

"No problem." She laughed and smiled.

OoOoO

**Well, I hope you liked it… I did my best. I still think I'm a little rusty. Just give me some time to get out of this funk. I'm trying my best. **

**Review! :D**


	3. Chapter 3

"_Hello?" Hikaru said into the receiver. _

"_Guess who!" Haruhi said enthusiastically. _

"_Hey," Hikaru said, glad to hear her voice. "How are you?"_

"_I'm better now. Wow, did I have a rough day!" _

"_What happened?" Hikaru was concerned at the strange hint of hysteria in her voice. _

"_Well, I got kicked out of my history class, hit on by my lab partner, and I fell down the steps which seem to have led to a broken leg. But, enough about me; how are you?" _

"_Wow, a broken leg, huh? That sucks. Nothing much is new with me."_

"_Aw, come on, you must have at least a little something to tell me. Any girls?" her voice sounded a little bitter. _

"_Well, of course there are girls Haruhi, it's a unisex school."_

"_Any you're interested in?" _

"_No. Everyone is either a snobby wannabe or a model. And on top of that none of them are you."_

_All bitterness dropped from her voice at this comment. "Good to hear. At least something is going right in my life." _

"_I miss you," Hikaru blurted out. _

"_I miss you too…"_

"_I know. But just think, only a little while, and we'll both be out of college and then we can get married."_

"_Hikaru, we both have close to two and a half years left…"_

"_I know, but it's still sooner then what it was when we started." _

_She laughed, "True."_

"_Maybe we could find a way to see each other again before that…"_

_Haruhi sighed in exasperation, "You know that's impossible. It's pointless for me to come visit you, because we have different break schedules and I'll have to go home after a few days. Plus I'm taking another semester's worth of classes over the summer so I can get done with school sooner." _

"_I know… it was just a joke."_

"_Well it wasn't funny!" her voice was stressed again. "I have to go. Write me a letter soon to tell me how you're really doing." _

"_I love you," he said into the phone; but he knew it was too late. She had already hung up. _

Hikaru remembered this day well. It was just the beginning of a series of short phone calls that always ended with Haruhi hanging up before the conversation was over. He had written too her after that. She always responded to his letters.

He looked out the window and watched the prettily painted houses pass by. _What a nice neighborhood._ He thought. She must be doing well.

_Of course she's not doing well. She has brain cancer you idiot. _He shook his head mentally. Why did he keep thinking these things?

The limo pulled up in front of a white house. It was the plainest on the block. Of course, Hikaru thought, only she would want a boring white house. He got out. It took all his strength to walk up the steps to the porch. He decided to wait until he gathered up some more strength to knock on the door. Finally, he got up enough courage.

"_Knock, knock!" Hikaru yelled as a sleepy looking Haruhi opened the door._

"_Do you _know_ what time it is?"_

"_Uh, like, 1? Why? "_

"_Because that's in Japan, and this is America. Time difference. It's like actually like, 3… IN THE MORNING!" _

"_I'm sorry; it's been a while since I've traveled here…" _

"_I could kill you! I should kill you! I've told you about a half a million times that we shouldn't visit each other; especially if it's a surprise!" _

"_I'm sorry it's just… well, I felt bad for snapping at you on the phone the last time we talked." Their last phone conversation had ended in absolute disaster. There had been crying and discussions about maybe not talking until after college was over. "I needed to apologize, and I felt that doing it over the phone might not be the best idea, so… here I am!" he said throwing open his arms to emphasize the fact that he was indeed there. _

"_And you thought _this_ was the best idea?" Haruhi said with an exasperated sigh._

"_Uh… well, yeah." Hikaru shrugged. "Guess I was wrong." He turned to leave. _

_Haruhi smiled. "You're too cute to stay mad at. So, I forgive you. But promise to never do this again."_

"_Cross my heart." Hikaru said, while crossing his heart. _

"_You're the devil," Haruhi told him, as she threw herself into his arms._

"_I know," Hikaru whispered. _

Hikaru knocked again. "Hello?" he called. No one answered.

"Hello!" he yelled. Still, no one responded.

"She's in the hospital," a frail voice from behind him said. He turned around to find an old woman standing there.

"Thank you. I'm Hitachiin Hikaru, and you are?"

"That's not important. What's important is that she's almost gone."

"How much longer does she have?"

"Not much, I would expect."

"Which hospital?"

"Don't worry yourself with names. I'll tell you how to get there. Go straight, turn left at the stop sign, go straight again, turn right onto the highway, get off on exit 55 and then turn at the first left turn offered to you. Good luck boy." She gave him a half toothless smile and winked. Then she turned to walk away.

"Wait! How do you know this?"

"That's not important. Go to her!" the woman never turned around, she just waved her can as a gesture for him to leave. He ran back to the limo and told the driver the directions. They were there in ten minutes.

He ran to the information desk. "Can you tell me what floor I could find a cancer patient?"

"What's your name, sir?" the receptionist asked.

"Hitachiin Hikaru." Her eyes widened though they remained focused on the sign in sheet.

"Name of the ill?"

"Fujioka Haruhi."

"Family or friend?"

"Both, I suppose."

She looked up at him. "You're either family or friend."

"I'm friend."

"Then you can't go. She's in a coma and they are only letting family visit her."

"Look," Hikaru began, "she and I were engaged for nearly five years. If that doesn't qualify me as family, I don't know what does."

"Well, DNA for one thing," the nurse began.

"You're not gonna let me up there, are you?"

"No."

"Fine," Hikaru said turning and walking out the door.

OoOoO

**Ooooooooooooooh! I wonder what's gonna happen next. Actually, it's pretty obvious. Anyway, review and I will love you forever!**


	4. Chapter 4

Hikaru hated hospitals. Hospitals reminded him of it.

_The ambulance raced down the street. Hikaru held Haruhi's hand as the paramedics did their work on Haruhi. Haruhi looked so scared. Tears ran down her face. Every few minutes she would scream in pain. _

"_Shush, Haruhi it'll be okay." _

_Haruhi just screamed in pain and grasped his hand tighter. _

Hikaru pulled on the outfit. He had found it in a supply closet. He didn't think anyone would care if one went missing for awhile. His only goal was not to get caught.

Hikaru walked out of the bathroom he had been hiding in to get changed and stepped into the elevator. He looked at the numbers. They were labeled on the side as to what area was on which floor. Intensive care was floor 4.

Once he got there he walked to the receptionist's desk.

"Can you tell me which room Fujioka Haruhi is in?" Hikaru flashed her one of "his smiles"

"Room 11. I've never seen you around here before," she looked him over once.

"I just started." He smiled again.

"You know, if you need any help finding anything…"

"As much as I would love to stay and chat, I've got to go attend to my patient."

"Oh… yeah…" her face turned bright red. "See you around."

"See ya." He waved.

Hikaru stepped into room eleven. There laid poor Haruhi, her brown hair gone, her skin so pale it was almost transparent. Her eyes were dark. She was asleep. He walked over and grabbed her hand. The room looked nothing like it had last time she was in the hospital.

_Hikaru looked around the room. Haruhi lay in the bed in the center of the room. The rest of the room was packed with flowers, cards, and balloons. The room looked so cheery but still… the atmosphere was sad. _

_Hikaru sat down on the edge of her bed. Haruhi just laid there, staring at the ceiling. _

"_Hey, honey. How are you?" Hikaru asked. Haruhi continued to stare at the ceiling. "Not a good day, huh?" He took her hand. "They said that tomorrow you'll be able to go home." Haruhi responded to this._

"_No," she said. _

"_Haruhi, you've been in here for almost a whole week. Going home will be a good thing for you."_

"_I don't want to." She shook her head. _

"_But Haruhi, this is something that you and I need to deal with at home." _

"_No, it's not. There's nothing to deal with."_

Hikaru sighed. "I miss you Haruhi. Please, come back to me soon." Hikaru kissed her hand. He stepped out of the room and towards the elevator. He ran out the entrance doors, because being inside the hospital was suffocating him.

**So I hope you guys enjoyed it. Sorry if it's getting sad and sorry it's such a short chapter. I'll try to make the next one longer. If you guys can guess why Haruhi was in the hospital the first time, in the flashback, comment. **

**For those of you who previously read my stories on my old account my sister and I shared, Livi-kunXxXChibi-chan, you may or may not have read any of the updates I put on my old stories, telling you about my new account and asking you what you wanted me to do about updating old stories. Most of you said to keep updating on that account.**

**Unfortunately, someone reported us for abuse for updating author notes instead of whole chapters. Apparently it's in the guidelines that you are not allowed to do this. So, it looks like I'll have to repost everything. I was really hoping I wouldn't have to. I hope you'll read them again if I have to do this. **

**Wish us luck! **** Reviews remind me that there's somebody out there reading this! 3 **


End file.
